Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
