he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I came so hard my ears popped.
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