so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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