It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
