Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
