shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
