did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
