You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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