So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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