my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
