I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
