the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
