Small penises have feelings too.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
