you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
