perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
