She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
