"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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