that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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