he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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