Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
