Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
