she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
