i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
