wat bout pragnant strippers??
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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