So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
