sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
