I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
