I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
