now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
