if only i could text you this smell
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
