we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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