I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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