who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
