the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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