He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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