Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
