What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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