Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
