I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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