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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
