Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
