At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
