one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
