Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
