Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
