She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
