Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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