So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
