i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
