sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my liver is dry heaving
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
