My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
