He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize