Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
