He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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