I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
