i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
