So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
