but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
