Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
