Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
