Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
