when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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