He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
