What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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