I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
