And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
